It was Sunday, I was off work the next day. I didn’t have any intention to drink. But, I had helped my next door neighbor by picking up a box from her front porch and holding it for her while she was out of town. She came to my door, I gave her he box and she handed me a bottle of wine. I thanked her and then was alone with it. I thought for a moment to dump it out, but that thought left as quickly as it had come. A stronger thought replaced it – I can drink this wine, I don’t have plans today and I’m off work tomorrow. It was 11 am and I opened the bottle and finished it within the hour. It was not something I would choose, it tastes watered down and too sweet. But still, I drank. A few hours later, I sobered up and took my dog to the dog park. On the way home, another lovely thought came through. I have already fucked up my sobriety, I’ll just go pick up some beer. So I dropped my dog off at home and swung by the liquor store. I had five over the course of the evening. I didn’t even feel drunk. I felt lonely, which is a feeling that has become too familiar. So, while finishing off those beers, I decided to start a meetup group for sober people. I desperately need to find my tribe. So, I scheduled a couple of events before I drifted off to sleep.
Over the next couple of days, people started joining. As of today, a week later I have over 60 members. People seem excited. But, of course it is not that easy. I had my first meetup event. Only 1 person RSVP’d. I still went, I didn’t want this one person to show up and have no one there. I waited and waited but she didn’t show. But still, I felt calm. Something in me said, “this is what it takes to find your tribe.” So, I am still hopeful and excited about this group. My best friend even seems excited and she’s a drinker. She joined the group to support me, but also she wants to meet new people and doesn’t care that there won’t be booze. So amazing. But, not everyone is as amazing as my best friend, my sister from another mister. My actual sister, from the same mister, said that she would come to events. I told her sure, as long as she doesn’t drink at them. And she’s says, “I can have a beer, what are they going to do, ban me?” And I said “I would ban you.” And she went on to explain that she had no problem not drinking, but really didn’t see the harm in drinking at a sober event if there was alcohol available. So a restaurant or a bar or whatnot. Okay, I was slightly horrified by the suggestion that she would piss on my group by drinking at a sober event. Stupid me for telling her anything.